Saturday, October 11, 2008

State of the Llyw-nion

So I'm gonna talk about myself.

I mean, that's what most blogs are, and that's why most of them are...well, not boring but -interchangeable. Most people aren't boring, not when you get to know them at least, but people are often interchangeable.

The other big problem I have with talking about oneself is that it's easy to become unable to talk about anything else. And I can't stand that. It's why I don't like most Woody Allen movies, there all just huge self-portraits, and no matter how expertly you paint him, Woody Allen is an ugly, wormy, whiny dude.

But at least he has his talent and craftsmanship to mitigate how annoying he is.

And finally, I really don't like talking about myself because I think telling people what to think of you is worse than a waste of time. People say "I'm really nit-picky" or "I'm always doing that"

Self-descriptions don't have much of a point, or at least they don't have their intended point. Statements that intend to instruct people on how they should see the speaker fail. You can tell someone how you perceive yourself, but you can't tell people how to see you. Or at least I think you shouldn't.

In short, I think you should often just let yourself speak for itself.

That being said I'm going to suppress my 'don't talk about myself' impulse, for a bit and give a run-down of how I'm doing and what's going on with me. And maybe you will read it and give a damn.

Ladies and gentlemen, the state of our Llyw-nion is one of recovery.

2007 sucked. I left Japan, feeling strong and got socked in the gut for my overconfidence.

2008 began with a repeat of the same arc as 2007 but this time over a four-day-timespan. But I do think I came out of things wiser than I went into them.

I stopped working in Pike Place Market and started working for Big Fish Games at about the halfway point of this year. This was a big positive change.

Not that the Market wasn't cool, mind you, it was. But it's was never a permanent thing, and it had gone on more than long enough.

So I came to work for Big Fish, it's been a bit over four months and I've been hired on full-time. I did really well at first, then hit a rough patch in September and now I'm hitting my stride again, In fact I think that I may be performing better than ever.

Which is a relief, because honestly, my life has been too much about my job lately. It's so easy to get caught up in your job, I think, and then distract yourself when you're away from it with shiny objects the distract you from the fact that you're choosing your job over the things you really want.

But this is the first job I've ever had that actually has a career attached to it. Americorps was cool, but you can only do it for two years, and while I would have dug working at Tempest I had a lot of growing up to do before I would have been a true asset there, and while I was off doing it Tempest collapsed.

Japan was awesome, but ECC was not a tenable career. While there are things that I enjoyed and valued about that job, I remember how fed up with it I was by the time I left, I can only imagine what another two years would have done to me. And coming back has given me a lot of perspecive.

The Market was crazy, quirky, and taught me things I didn't expect to learn. But there are shop-boys and boys who happen to work in shops for the time being, and from the begining it was understood that I was the latter.

So now I have a job that is less of a place to tread water and more of a path to walk down. I don't how far it will take me, but it's nice to see it extend out to the horizon.

And, as my grandmother likes to say, money is always consoling.

Now that I feel like I'm doing well enough at work to feel safe turning my attention to other matters, I do see that I've gained a good position to make progress in other fields and on other goals.

So I'm making myself write more. I plan to post on this blog at least once a week in either English or Japanese.

I'm going to either take advantage of the cheap gym membership I get from working at Big Fish and see what a regular excercise menu written up with the help of someone who knows what they're doing does for me.

I'm also going to look into Aikido Dojos and see if I have the time and money to resume study.

I'm continuing to teach myself how to play the Guitar, and I'm proud to say that I'm a little bit better every time I put the guitar back down again.

I'm also getting out and hanging out with people more. Which is something that has taken a huge hit since I left Japan.

Man, looking back at what I've written it's not anything like I thought it would be when I started. I had some cool not-me things I wanted to segway into.

Oh well, I'll just ge them next time.

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